Counsel My Ass!

"Ivan, you can tell me anything," guidance counselor Jenny Mason, 43, says to her student Ivan. "What you say here is confidential."



"Well, Ms. Mason," Ivan sputters. "I need to score some condoms from you. My girl wants to go all the way. I heard you have condoms for free."



"Sorry, Ivan, but I'm all out of condoms," Ms. Mason says. "You're the tenth student that's come by this week. The school is supposed to receive more next week."



"I can't wait till next week," Ivan protests. "What if my girlfriend changes her mind?"



"Well, there's always oral sex," Ms. Mason offers.



"I'm over blow jobs," Ivan says. "I need something new, but I don't want to knock her up."



"Well, if it's pregnancy you want to avoid, there is one way to have sex, but your girlfriend might not be ready for what I'm about to show you," Ms. Mason says.



Show him?



"You see, Ivan, first you undress your girl friend and bend her over. You get her…